The Wholesome Instagram Capturing the Love Between Queer Pet Parents & Their Dogs

There’s nothing quite like the relationship between a dog and their person. This creature who can’t talk who lives in your home but has stolen your heart and you have an unbreakable bond with – you’d do anything for them, they’d do anything for treats (and you). And for queer people, that bond is extra special because creating a family looks a little different than our heteronormative society like to dictate. It’s a love that’s almost impossible to put into words. But London-based couple Nessie and Mair are trying to capture that magic on camera with their photography series: Dogs and their Dykes. 

You can feel the love on the project’s Instagram page, @dogsandtheirdykes, featuring women smiling, their dogs cradled in their arms; lesbian couples with their arms wrapped around each other, their dog happily sitting in between them. So what inspired it?

London-based Nessie and Mair have been dating for around two years now. About a year ago, the couple decided they wanted to work on something creative together – Nessie is a freelance photographer and producer; Mair is a creative director at a social media agency. For her job, Mair is constantly seeking out and discovering projects, and she happened upon an anthology – CATS (and their dykes), by Irene Reti and Shoney Sien from the early ‘90s. It sparked something. “We were heavily inspired by it, but Mair and I aren’t really cat dykes, we’re more dog dykes,” laughs Nessie, “as children, we were both obsessed with dogs, so it’s a passion that’s brought us closer together.” And so their photography project, Dogs and their Dykes, was born.

Although the couple don’t have a dog together yet, they both grew up with dogs in their families. “Getting a dog is the next step in our relationship,” says Nessie. “This project is definitely helping us decide which breed we’d like, we’ve met so many gorgeous dogs.” The first subject for the project, though, was Mair with her family dog Debbie – they needed a photo to inspire other people to sign up. “Plus, I always say she’s my dog because I’m obsessed with her,” smiles Mair. They then started reaching out to their queer circle, friends of friends – “and stalking people’s Instagrams,” says Nessie, on their tactics for recruiting subjects. “Once we started building up an Instagram audience, @dogsandtheirdykes, we invited them to take part. We also actually have these business cards,” says Nessie, holding up a blue rectangle that says: are you a dog with a dyke? on it. “Whenever we’re at queer events, we hand them out!” 

Nessie and Mair have big aims for Dogs and their Dykes. They want to shoot queer women and their dogs all over the UK – “we want to reach people who don’t have social media, too, and all ages,” – they’d also love to travel over to the US, New York and San Francisco, eventually turning the project into an exhibition and coffee table book.

The portraits are gorgeous and really capture the bond between human and pooch. So how do they do it? Especially when dogs are notoriously hard to photograph. “As I’m the photographer, Mair has basically become a dog whisperer,” chuckles Nessie. “She stands behind me and holds snacks above the camera.”

“Yeah, I’ve developed techniques,” adds Mair. “I’m such a lesbian, I’ve always got my carabiner on me, so I might jangle that. Or I’ll make noises or squeak a toy. Different things work for different dogs, some are super chilled and others are hyper. We shot a puppy the other day who just kept falling asleep so we had to try and get her to open her eyes.”

Another important fact is that the couple always shoot their subjects in an environment they feel comfortable in. “That might be their local pub or the park they usually walk in or in their home,” says Nessie. “So we come in and chat for a bit and let the dog get used to us, we give it time – sometimes a shoot can take two hours. We never want the dog to get stressed out.”

What’s most beautiful about the project is that through it, Mair and Nessie have built a community, they’ve made new friends and it’s helped them redefine what family means to them. “On nights out, it can be hard to connect with other queer women and make friends,” says Nessie. But just the other evening, they had dinner with a couple who they photographed for the series. “For queer people, friends become their chosen family – and dogs are just an extension of that.” These women are finding their way in front of Nessie’s lens and weaving into the fabric of their life. 

“One couple we photographed for the series have two rescue dogs from Greece,” she continues. “They told us what the dogs were like when they first came to the UK. They were so nervous and scared around new people. But it was really amazing to see the time and effort they’d put in to make the dogs feel at peace in their home. You know, these dogs came all the way over from Greece and how they’ve got this lovely life in Brighton.”

“When we started this project it was just because we are gay women who love dogs,” says Nessie. “But as we’ve spent more time with queer people and their dogs, we hear about their relationships. It’s just so beautiful, especially for queer people, it’s not easy to have that nuclear family set-up.” Mair adds: “Queer families might just look a bit different to everyone else’s.” And it’s a beautiful thing to see captured in photographs. 

You can find the project’s Instagram page at @dogsandtheirdykes